Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Nailed It!

Dave Chappelle is ridiculously hilarious. He was at the Fillmore in San Francisco a few years ago performing his show, For What It's Worth...
And the TL came up, had to share...

Friday, November 19, 2010

Bums Hate Me and Today I Really Hate Bums



I went downtown today to get a picture of the guy in silver who stands around soliciting people for money, in order to tell my most recent bums hate me story. When the weather took a turn for the worse, so did my day.

Before I left the house this was what I had written:

Bums hate me. I set off the crazy gene in bums whenever I get near. I’m crazy candy. I try and keep to myself and mind my own business when I’m out and about, but it’s no use. My misadventures with bums started pretty soon after I had moved into the neighborhood. I had a half eaten apple thrown at me. I didn’t know bums were so privileged that they can afford to throw away a perfectly good piece of food. And produce for that matter!

The bums, they seem to make a beeline right for me regardless of the other bystanders around. Once a lady bum was coming around the corner yelling at the top of her lungs at no one in particular, until I’m there. She fixes her eyes on me, and as I pass, she yells into my ear, “I was making four grand a month working as a nurse, I’m NOT fucking crazy.” Yet, the fact that she reeks of ass and is walking around the city with no shoes on, begs to differ with the end of her statement.

Walking home from downtown is increasingly my Kryptonite. One night, a guy started following us, me and a group of friends, down the street, talking to my boyfriend telling him how he was hanging out with some ugly girls. He kept talking about how ugly we were. I got so fed up with this, I turned around and yelled, “You’re just angry ‘cause you’re homeless!”

The most recent event (until today!), I was accosted by a man painted completely in silver. He’s usually standing in Union Square on a crate soliciting people for money. My boyfriend, our friend Gintah, and I were walking home from downtown after dinner, and as we were stopped at a crosswalk the man in silver turned to face me, me out of the three possible victims, and yelled in my face, “Don’t fucking look at me.” There I was, again, with friends, minding my own business, and I'm being yelled at. He looked like he wanted to punch me in the face, there was spittle on the side of his mouth, which was making me think he may have rabies. Not wanting to get punched in the face, I told him he looked nice. Never having been in this particular circumstance before, my brain was failing me.

As the light changed, the man painted completely in silver sped off across the street, still yelling heartwarming things about me as he walks off like, “I hate you, you stupid-fucking-evil-white-bitch.” And I responded, my courage growing just a bit as he got further away, “That’s not nice.” "YOU'RE not nice," he yelled back as he marched on.

After the man painted in sliver wasn't in view, Gintah turned to me and said, “I thought you were crazy when you told me that bums hate you, but wow! They really do!”

Annnnnnnd, that's where it would have ended except there's more...

As it started to sprinkle today and I had missed my opportunity for the picture of the mean man in silver, I entered Borders to get out of the rain and maybe do some early Christmas shopping. I wasn't there for long since my tummy was telling me it was time for lunch. As I left Borders I noticed a man yelling at a woman as I passed. I had only glanced for a moment, but that's all you need really. As I crossed the street, unbeknownst to myself there was something being hurdled at me, until it hit me square in the back. The bum had thrown his full cup of water at me. And I was soaked. Shocked, I turned around to face my attacker...and he was gone! Like a hit and run. Totally gone. It's not fair, I think, I would have given anything to yell at him at that moment. A nice gentleman who had seen the incident asked if I had seen who that was and if I was okay. I responded, "Yes, thank you, I'm okay," explaining that it was some crazy bum that attacked me, and that I was used to this type of treatment due to the fact that, I live in the Tenderloin!

I just have this one last thing to say... If you are a bum and are looking for a victim to lash out against and vent your frustrations on, I am NOT the person to mess with anytime soon, because WATCH OUT, I have my own vengeance to unleash, I won't be such a readily available victim next time.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Tummy Love part 1


A La Turca
is on Geary and Larkin.




This is one of my favorite places to come when it’s rainy and cold. It’s always good to start with the hummus or lentil soup, or both. Their house specials always satisfy and this time it was ground lamb with potatoes and eggplant. I also ordered the spinach and cheese pide. Pides are house bread with your choice of filling. Sometimes I get cheese and potato, this time it was spinach with feta and mozzarella cheeses. It was warm and fluffy and delicious. I’m usually too full to order dessert, but it was rainy and cold, and it was about time I tried one, so I ordered the Kunefe, which was described as baked kadayif (didn’t know what that was) with sweet cheese. What arrived was warm, slightly gooey and seemed to be soaked in sugar water. It sort of reminded me of shredded wheat cereal. It was a little too sweet, but not bad. I had ordered a black tea and the dessert tasted better between sips. The total amounted to 30 with tax, pretty sweet deal!


Little Bird Café




Is on Geary between Larkin and Hyde. There’s already been a few café’s in this location that have come and gone. It’s difficult to be an upstart, even more so with many choices in close proximity. I have mixed emotions about this place. The loose-leaf tea and ritual coffee they serve are good. I tried the nightingale sandwich, fresh mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes and pesto with potato chips, which was really good. The service is nice enough, and the chairs by the window are comfy. However, this is a family run café. The few times I’ve stopped in, the owner was there with her two children, both under the age of five. There’s a little play set for them in the corner. The kids seemed to be fairly well behaved, but were running all over the place, as well as in and out the door, which was distracting me from the conversation I was having with a friend. If you’re the kind of person that wants to sit in the quiet abyss of all that is a café and drink your coffee in peace and quiet while whittling your day away, I mean, “working,” on your computer, this may not be the place for you.


Saigon Sandwich



Located on Larkin and Eddy, the best of the ubiquitous bahn mi sandwich shops. Yeah they’re good. But even better is the people watching while waiting in line. Everybody loves these things, which means you’ll have to wait for one. But while you wait, watch how the people grow antsy, waiting for a cheap sandwich on their lunch break. Watch how the fatties order more than one. Or watch the person, a.k.a bum, parked outside ask for change from everyone who walks by. I’ve seen a bum fight right out front too. As the fight erupted a customer demanded the sandwich ladies call the cops, and admirably they ignored her pleas and worked on. Who does she think she is, asking these ladies to stop making sandwiches and get involved; she must be deluded. I’m sure these ladies have seen this many a time over, and if they were to get involved, there most definitely would be a backlog of sandwiches for a very, very long time.

Friday, November 5, 2010

This Little Piggy Went to Market




It’s all the rage to buy locally grown, sustainable foods and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a sucker for them. I love heading to the market with my reusable bags in tow. My favorite market is super close to where I live, and I think, a little cheaper than the market on the Embarcadero. My market occurs every Wednesday and Sunday in the Civic Center UN Plaza. Wednesdays and Sundays are a little different, not all the same growers show up for both days, and there’s only lunch spots like Roli Roti, which is open spit fire-roasted chicken with potatoes and yummy tamales and beans with cheese on Wednesdays for the people who work in the area.







My must haves from the market: butternut squash, especially after watching Jacques Pépin make a delicious soup with not much else but the squash, leaks and onions. Heirloom tomatoes, dried apricots, pistachios, honey, homemade chocolate almond brittle, Asian pears, peaches, fresh herbs, and a cornucopia of veggies, and of course, traditional kettle popped corn. My must haves depend on the season, which is amazing as this is not something I have to consider when shopping at the supermarket. Food really does taste better when it’s local and fresh and beautiful.




My haul and the delicious things I made with it...


An heirloom tomato salad with basil and cheese.


An apple tart! Yummy in my tummy! Another great and delicious afternoon at my market.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Giants are the World Champions and the City Celebrates with You!!



GOOOOOOOOOO GIANTS!!! Is on everyone's lips. It's an exciting time to live in downtown San Francisco. There's a huge impromptu party in the Civic Center only blocks from where I live and everywhere in San Francisco. Highs fives and hugs all around, as if reuniting with old friends. I don't think I've ever seen so many people truly happy in one place. It's electric and the city is alive. People are dancing and hanging from their cars and balconies while vuvuzela's and honking horns saturate the air. At one point there rose from the crowds a chant of, "Texas Sucks!" The celebration won't end anytime soon and we will welcome home the champions on Wednesday with a well deserved parade.