Monday, April 30, 2012

Neither Here Nor There


I’m moving. To another part of the city.

I like moving. You get to clean the dust off everything, get rid of crap you never use, or haven’t seen for a long time. It’s liberating, yet daunting. However, I’ve realized something, I can’t very well write about living in the Tenderloin, when I don’t, in fact, live in the Tenderloin.

After picking up the keys to my new apartment, the roomies and I wandered the streets of our new neighborhood, getting sucked into a record store at one point. I sat and looked at a free zine on the shelf. It had a quiz about the neighborhood, and as I read the questions, I was perturbed because, I knew none of the answers. I thought about all the other things I didn’t know (about the neighborhood!) for instance, who’s the district supervisor here? What district will I be in? Where’s the post office? Where will I be shopping for groceries?

I’ve let the Tenderloin become a part of my identity; after living here more than 7 years. It may not have been a conscious decision, but it happened none-the-less. I’ve let it sink into me. I’ve defended the neighborhood when people talk shit about it. I’ve chided people from other neighborhoods; certain people from the Marina, or the Mission. I was proud, in a way, to have made a home in the Tenderloin.

I’ve always pictured myself a little rough around the edges, and it made me think I fit in the Tenderloin quite nicely, even though, it truly has been a love-hate relationship. For example, since early January there’s been this overly loud homeless man who comes every morning to solicit the customers at Saigon Sandwich, located directly below my apartment, my apartment with the thin-single-pane-windows. It would have been fine if he was a quite dude. Instead, for hours on end, he’ll scream ‘happy holidays’ literally every two seconds. For HOURS! After a month of this, I began considering ways to get rid of him that  included throwing things: such as water, eggs… a chair. I never did any of these things. It’s just too mean. So, I let him scream at the top of his lungs, thinking to myself…I guess the holidays are here to stay.

The new place has a washer and dryer in the building. Which, I’m crazy stoked about, and you’d know why if you’d read the one about my laundry mat. Let’s just say, I’ve seen some things that I’ll never forget. I won’t miss these things. But, what I will miss, what I’m super sad about, is not seeing the people that work around here. The places I go so regularly, they know me. The even like me! It’s a pleasure to see these people, to have a lil chit chat, to be involved in their life. People I see more often than my own family. The past few years, I’ve even exchanged Christmas gifts with them. The people I’ll miss most are the hard working family at Hiep-Thanh Market. Love that store. The Mom always gives me my favorite holiday candy, the one in the red wrapper that’s only available at one time during the year, she knows I like them, and saves some for me! And of course Eli, who owned Fox liquors. My corner market. I say owned because he just recently sold the place after working in the neighborhood for 25 years. He’s great. Always hard at work, always knew everything that’s happening. He’s on to new and better things, a little vacation/family time before he’s too old to enjoy it.

I look around my apartment and remember moving in, and into the city. It was my first apartment in San Francisco, my first neighborhood. I thought, this place is crazy! My boyfriend and I came with only a truck load of stuff. An ironing board used to fill our living room in those early days. We used to spread out kitchen towels on the living room floor when we ate dinner. These are good memories, and the crazy shit that went down gave me life long memories, bad and good.

Moving to a new neighborhood is changing the way I see myself, already. I’m the new kid on the block. The new neighborhood has such a defined culture, I don’t know yet how I’ll fit in. And it looks like I gotta get a new blog, something different, cause people are already writing about this one. This blog was my baby for a little over a year, and no lie, I’m going to miss working on it. There are so many people living and working in the Tenderloin, and places to visit, that I haven’t gotten the chance to write about. But they’ll still be here. It’s me who’s moving out, and on.

I’m a girl on the move. And this time; there’s a Uhaul involved.