Tenderloin Christmas Light Extravaganza!

Christmas means Christmas lights!! When I lived in a small town my Mom would drive me and my sister around to look at all the elaborately decorated houses. On certain blocks every house would have a display, it was almost magical. They would like up the darkness and you could feel the time of year all around you.

Now I live in San Francisco, because of that I haven't driven for a very long time. But don't you worry, I still get to see Christmas lights!! Here's a tour of my neighborhood and some of the displays we've got...

Our tour begins:

Even the businesses got into the spirit...

The best lights display of them all...

And I even saw Rudolph and Santa!!

The Twelve Days of the Tenderloin

On the twelfth day of the Tenderloin my true love sent to me,

Twelve dirty bums
Eleven new parks
Ten people smoking crack
Nine naked homeless ladies
Eight drug deals
Seven cars being broken into
Six piles of poopy
Five golden teeth
Four used condoms
Three pigeons eating throw up
Two Australians
And a tranny prostitute getting into a car!

Dottie’s True Blue Café:

Deserves a post all its own...

My favorite breakfast place. Was up early the other morning so decided to go to breakfast with the boyfriend. You can find it on Jones between O’Farrell and Geary.

Found this place when I was new to the neighborhood. It had a long line out the door, so had to check it out and it didn’t disappoint. It always has a long line out the door. The food is worth the wait, but if you want to avoid the sometimes hour wait, get there right after they open or around 2 because they open at 7:30 and close at 3pm, and are closed on Tuesdays also. You might have to wait for a few minutes, but it’ll be better than an hour. I’ve gotten lucky while waiting in line a few times, though, because I’ve been witness to a bum fight, and once a bum was standing on his head next to the line asking for tips, forrrrever, needless to say, there can be some great entertainment since this place is located in the heart of the Tenderloin. The food is homemade, fresh and super delicious. The service is uncomplicated and efficient. The owner is the main cook, which only adds to the homey-cuteness levels here.

Homemade pastries and thick-cut bread. Their juices are fresh squeezed, while my usual is oj, you should give the grapefruit juice a whirl; I was never a fan until I had it here, it tastes different and so much better when freshly squeezed.

This is not a place to go if you’re in a hurry, take your time, relax, enjoy the company, atmosphere, and of course, the yummy food.

Don't Blame It on the Vomit

I fell asleep on the couch again tonight and to my horror and great pleasure I was awoken at 1:30 am by the sweet sounds of a brawl. Someone was shouting… I listened closer, the chant, “Knock ‘em out,” “Knock ‘em out,” came billowing up from the street below. Ohhhhh, I thought as I sat bolt upright and wrenched open the blinds. The people shouting were across the street and as I followed their line of sight, there was the ongoing fight occurring right under my window. How long have they been there? Probably won’t last long. I made a mad dash for the new camera. Let’s see what this baby can do, really open her up this time.

Fortunately, they were mostly in the street, and I was able to glimpse what was going on. They were white, and as such, had the foresight to remove their shirts before knocking each other senseless. Next to them a bunch of balloons and a puddle of vomit. To my dismay the fight was over fairly quickly. It ended uneventfully as one drunkie decided to stumble away.

When it was over one of the bystanders reached for the balloons and held on to them long enough to exclaim, “There’s blood on here, man, I don’t want no blood.” The balloons were discarded as quickly as they had been snatched up. And just like that the fun was over.



*First chance using the new camera at night!
**Also pictured here, my dying tree, post about this to be announced.

Nailed It!

Dave Chappelle is ridiculously hilarious. He was at the Fillmore in San Francisco a few years ago performing his show, For What It's Worth...
And the TL came up, had to share...

Bums Hate Me and Today I Really Hate Bums

I went downtown today to get a picture of the guy in silver who stands around soliciting people for money, in order to tell my most recent bums hate me story. When the weather took a turn for the worse, so did my day.

Before I left the house this was what I had written:

Bums hate me. I set off the crazy gene in bums whenever I get near. I’m crazy candy. I try and keep to myself and mind my own business when I’m out and about, but it’s no use. My misadventures with bums started pretty soon after I had moved into the neighborhood. I had a half eaten apple thrown at me. I didn’t know bums were so privileged that they can afford to throw away a perfectly good piece of food. And produce for that matter!

The bums, they seem to make a beeline right for me regardless of the other bystanders around. Once a lady bum was coming around the corner yelling at the top of her lungs at no one in particular, until I’m there. She fixes her eyes on me, and as I pass, she yells into my ear, “I was making four grand a month working as a nurse, I’m NOT fucking crazy.” Yet, the fact that she reeks of ass and is walking around the city with no shoes on, begs to differ with the end of her statement.

Walking home from downtown is increasingly my Kryptonite. One night, a guy started following us, me and a group of friends, down the street, talking to my boyfriend telling him how he was hanging out with some ugly girls. He kept talking about how ugly we were. I got so fed up with this, I turned around and yelled, “You’re just angry ‘cause you’re homeless!”

The most recent event (until today!), I was accosted by a man painted completely in silver. He’s usually standing in Union Square on a crate soliciting people for money. My boyfriend, our friend Gintah, and I were walking home from downtown after dinner, and as we were stopped at a crosswalk the man in silver turned to face me, me out of the three possible victims, and yelled in my face, “Don’t fucking look at me.” There I was, again, with friends, minding my own business, and I'm being yelled at. He looked like he wanted to punch me in the face, there was spittle on the side of his mouth, which was making me think he may have rabies. Not wanting to get punched in the face, I told him he looked nice. Never having been in this particular circumstance before, my brain was failing me.

As the light changed, the man painted completely in silver sped off across the street, still yelling heartwarming things about me as he walks off like, “I hate you, you stupid-fucking-evil-white-bitch.” And I responded, my courage growing just a bit as he got further away, “That’s not nice.” "YOU'RE not nice," he yelled back as he marched on.

After the man painted in sliver wasn't in view, Gintah turned to me and said, “I thought you were crazy when you told me that bums hate you, but wow! They really do!”

Annnnnnnd, that's where it would have ended except there's more...

As it started to sprinkle today and I had missed my opportunity for the picture of the mean man in silver, I entered Borders to get out of the rain and maybe do some early Christmas shopping. I wasn't there for long since my tummy was telling me it was time for lunch. As I left Borders I noticed a man yelling at a woman as I passed. I had only glanced for a moment, but that's all you need really. As I crossed the street, unbeknownst to myself there was something being hurdled at me, until it hit me square in the back. The bum had thrown his full cup of water at me. And I was soaked. Shocked, I turned around to face my attacker...and he was gone! Like a hit and run. Totally gone. It's not fair, I think, I would have given anything to yell at him at that moment. A nice gentleman who had seen the incident asked if I had seen who that was and if I was okay. I responded, "Yes, thank you, I'm okay," explaining that it was some crazy bum that attacked me, and that I was used to this type of treatment due to the fact that, I live in the Tenderloin!

I just have this one last thing to say... If you are a bum and are looking for a victim to lash out against and vent your frustrations on, I am NOT the person to mess with anytime soon, because WATCH OUT, I have my own vengeance to unleash, I won't be such a readily available victim next time.

Tummy Love part 1

A La Turca is on Geary and Larkin.




This is one of my favorite places to come when it’s rainy and cold. It’s always good to start with the hummus or lentil soup, or both. Their house specials always satisfy and this time it was ground lamb with potatoes and eggplant. I also ordered the spinach and cheese pide. Pides are house bread with your choice of filling. Sometimes I get cheese and potato, this time it was spinach with feta and mozzarella cheeses. It was warm and fluffy and delicious. I’m usually too full to order dessert, but it was rainy and cold, and it was about time I tried one, so I ordered the Kunefe, which was described as baked kadayif (didn’t know what that was) with sweet cheese. What arrived was warm, slightly gooey and seemed to be soaked in sugar water. It sort of reminded me of shredded wheat cereal. It was a little too sweet, but not bad. I had ordered a black tea and the dessert tasted better between sips. The total amounted to 30 with tax, pretty sweet deal!


Little Bird Café



Is on Geary between Larkin and Hyde. There’s already been a few café’s in this location that have come and gone. It’s difficult to be an upstart, even more so with many choices in close proximity. I have mixed emotions about this place. The loose-leaf tea and ritual coffee they serve are good. I tried the nightingale sandwich, fresh mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes and pesto with potato chips, which was really good. The service is nice enough, and the chairs by the window are comfy. However, this is a family run café. The few times I’ve stopped in, the owner was there with her two children, both under the age of five. There’s a little play set for them in the corner. The kids seemed to be fairly well behaved, but were running all over the place, as well as in and out the door, which was distracting me from the conversation I was having with a friend. If you’re the kind of person that wants to sit in the quiet abyss of all that is a café and drink your coffee in peace and quiet while whittling your day away, I mean, “working,” on your computer, this may not be the place for you.


Saigon Sandwich



Located on Larkin and Eddy, the best of the ubiquitous bahn mi sandwich shops. Yeah they’re good. But even better is the people watching while waiting in line. Everybody loves these things, which means you’ll have to wait for one. But while you wait, watch how the people grow antsy, waiting for a cheap sandwich on their lunch break. Watch how the fatties order more than one. Or watch the person, a.k.a bum, parked outside ask for change from everyone who walks by. I’ve seen a bum fight right out front too. As the fight erupted a customer demanded the sandwich ladies call the cops, and admirably they ignored her pleas and worked on. Who does she think she is, asking these ladies to stop making sandwiches and get involved; she must be deluded. I’m sure these ladies have seen this many a time over, and if they were to get involved, there most definitely would be a backlog of sandwiches for a very, very long time.

This Little Piggy Went to Market

It’s all the rage to buy locally grown, sustainable foods and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a sucker for them. I love heading to the market with my reusable bags in tow. My favorite market is super close to where I live, and I think, a little cheaper than the market on the Embarcadero. My market occurs every Wednesday and Sunday in the Civic Center UN Plaza. Wednesdays and Sundays are a little different, not all the same growers show up for both days, and there’s only lunch spots like Roli Roti, which is open spit fire-roasted chicken with potatoes and yummy tamales and beans with cheese on Wednesdays for the people who work in the area.







My must haves from the market: butternut squash, especially after watching Jacques Pépin make a delicious soup with not much else but the squash, leaks and onions. Heirloom tomatoes, dried apricots, pistachios, honey, homemade chocolate almond brittle, Asian pears, peaches, fresh herbs, and a cornucopia of veggies, and of course, traditional kettle popped corn. My must haves depend on the season, which is amazing as this is not something I have to consider when shopping at the supermarket. Food really does taste better when it’s local and fresh and beautiful.




My haul and the delicious things I made with it...


An heirloom tomato salad with basil and cheese.


An apple tart! Yummy in my tummy! Another great and delicious afternoon at my market.