Larkin and Eddy: Nailed It!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Nailed It!

Dave Chappelle is ridiculously hilarious. He was at the Fillmore in San Francisco a few years ago performing his show, For What It's Worth...
And the TL came up, had to share...

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Quote of the day

Late at night, a man to a prostitute, "Are you a woman?" "Yeah, I'm ALL woman, baby!"
Shortly after leaving the house I was paid a nice compliment, "You have nice lipstick on...I have a really big dick, you can have it anytime you want."
"Sober me is not okay with what went on in my panties last night."
Overheard while entering my building, "My Dad says that everytime I come visit you you have to come get me from BART."
One man watching another getting arrested for soliticing a prostitue, "It's a cold world we live in when a man can't even get a shot of pussy."
Street wisdom: "Killin' folks is a fuckin' crime."
"Can I have a dollar?" "No." "How about some ASSsssssss?"
One bum to another, "Stop tweeking on the ground, smoke your crack and get outta here."
"I haven't been paid for five months, so could you please give me some change."
"Could I borrow hundreds of dollars? I'll take you out to dinner."
A little spoken word by a drunkie at 4:30 in the morning, "East Coast, West Coast, Bus stop, Turk street."
Tried to have brunch at Brenda's and a bum standing there had this to say, "Line too long? Too bad, best food in town, I know cause I eat all their leftovers."
"It's a dollar, you gonna fight me over a dollar! Jesus Christ!" It's getting desperate out there!
Bum, panhandling in front of KFC/Taco Bell, "If IIIIII had that body, I'd be rich!"
Heard while walking by Century Theater (a strip club a few blocks from where I live), "This is where I came after I punched Ryan in the face! HaHa!"
"How long does this F@#*ing meth take to kick in, 30 minutes?"
Said to me: "Get him, I want him in the ground." Apparently I've been mistaken for a hitman tonight.
One guy yelling at another, "Stop smoking crack and go pick your sister off the sidewalk, she looks like she's only in her twenties."
"HA HA HA, Imma gonna kill all of you, HA HA HA!"
"He don't know the difference between a wheelchair and a bicycle, get the 'f' off the sidewalk."
"Give me my shit."
"I plan to be naked by lunch."
"Someone's looking for you."
"That bit@# had on shoes for the second day, I can't believe that man!"
Heard while walking home at three in the morning, "Hell yeah, that's cute!" The guy was talking about a pair of bar stools a bum was selling.