Bum Markets

Low on cash? The economy got you down? It’s one stop shopping at Bum Markets! Electronics, records, clothes, ladies purses and shoes, household goods like shampoo and conditioner, and don’t forget those essential pantry items all at bargain basement prices. With no overhead you only pay for what you get. Some may say “Awesome!” I’ve heard others exclaim, “Hell yeah, that’s cute!” This is what I heard while walking home at three in the morning, passing one of these make-shift markets, this guy, crazy excited about bar stools.

I can’t in good faith buy from bum markets. I always think that they probably stole the stuff from someone, and I don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior. I don’t buy anything, but I take a look out of the corner of my eye to see what they’ve got. I HAVE to look. When I was little I threw myself about, wined and complained when my mom made me go to Goodwill. I was embarrassed. I was afraid someone with more money than my family would see me in there. I was mortified. As I grew up my attitude changed. I now feel embarrassed about the way I behaved for so many reasons. Though, when I peek at bum markets I feel like a little kid in front of Goodwill, like someone’s going to see me look.

One of my favorite aspects of bum markets is how they are set up. Each bum has her or his own flare for the setup. Sometimes they lay everything out on a blanket. Sometimes they prop them against the side of a wall. It’s about presentation, the sale, trying to entice the customer by making it eye-appealing, by making you want to look. Arranging and rearranging.

Usually it’s….used clothes (probably has bed bugs on it), shoes (fungus), food items, like a bent up can of peas (bacteria), used shampoo or conditioner (germs, for sure), electronics (doesn‘t work), anything PBU (previously been used) really, is no good. All of these items have definitely been used before, whether they’ve been picked from the trash, or stolen, or the entrepreneurs own things that they’re selling to make a quick buck. Sometimes, sometimes, it’s something good, a real gem, could be a cute purse, or a Michael Jackson record, maybe even a cookbook. But NO, look away…I tell myself, you-will-not-purchase, should-not-let-them-see-your-face-they-will-remember-yoooou. Look A-way!